Agony & Ecstasy!

Have you ever had one of those inexplicably delightful days when you don't mind anything that would have you normally tearing your hair out and having a coronary?

Yesterday was one such day! It wasn't delightful if you know what I mean. Not as if I had won a million bucks in a lottery. Nor did I get a free ticket to Holland or some exotic locale where a handsome hunk was going to give me the best massage in the best spa and all expenses paid. Nah! Yes, well, I can think of only such boringly mundane things that could possibly excite someone. I am mundane and boring.

No it wasn't such an extraodinary day. But I know it made me feel very happy. And somehow it just made me feel that 'Yes, I should take the chance, risk it and I know I'd be happy'. And again, I'm not talking about telling a guy that you actually find him attractive, which I did, in the not too distant past, and realized later what a sucker I was to find him so, as he was probably laughing, sorry leering at the thought of how he'd managed to make a sucker out of me, this transparently naive, ugly fool, me. God! I shudder now at the thought of my pluck at writing to him, not realizing all the while that he knew, and was waiting to just get some adrenaline rush from hearing it or God knows what! He was nice or so I thought, but then again, I'm glad he didn't reciprocate, because I'd have been a poorer human being if I was associated with him. He was a jerk. Period! And if have to get into a detailed discussion about the strangeness of my association with him and how the attraction flowered (what ugly language ugh! guess he brings out the worst in me now), logic and reason would probably prove his innocence and niceness as a human being. But my instinct tells me he always knew and he played me along till it served some silly purpose. My instinct is usually never wrong about such matters.

Anyway let me not belabour that point too much. To come back to the extraordinariness of the day yesterday. Yes, it was extra - ordinary. That's what it was. Some seminar, some speakers, some networking, the gym, some cute guy, some great exercising, and all of it contributed to the 'feel good'.

Sometimes that's all it takes isn't it? Just a regular day without incident. That's what it takes for life too. Just a regular life without incident. And we could all actually be extra-ordinarily happy and contented. Ah, if only... but thereby hangs another tale! (is that the correct phraseology? oh never mind!)

The agony bit is that I realized after listening to one of the speakers about blogs, corporate blogs of course, that my blog SUCKS!!! B ig time. There I said it. Yes, my blog sucks!

Apparently, the most frequently googled is 'technology + sucks' and we have a gazillion irate human beings dissing about technology, technology corporations, technological people, and so on. So now you know. Ha ha. My blog sucks!

But seriously, it does and I have no compunction in admitting to that boringly blatant fact and no one will bat an eyelid. Why? Because it is so extra-ordinarily true and there my friend lies the ecstasy of the agonsing truth. (Phew! what was that!).

On a tangential note - I want to quit my job and become an entrepreneur! Nice term, I know, but what it translates into is - I want to be on my own. There is only one thing that's reigning me in. Guess what! Fear! That bloody 4-letter word that begins with 'F'.

On that agonising thought, that which if brought to fruition would bring me ecstatic delight, I shall rest my case. And return. To procrastinate.